A Prayer for Apple

~ Andrea
 A little humor is not a bad thing. Especially in these times. I thought I’d share some parody doggerel. As Mona Ethaway wrote in her excellent essay, “Monapause,” one’s writing chops go out the window during Menopause, as well as everything else. So:

A prayer for Apple

Hail Apple, full of space.
Who need grace when you’ve got face.
Entertain me, charge a bit.
I don’t mind. Won’t throw a fit.
Technology, it rules my life.
Knows me better then my ex-wife.

After Evita

I am only a media star
With just one trite podcast
But speaking as one of the people
I want you to know.
I am tired of things saying
“We the people”
When Trump calls for
A bloodbath of all
The Democrats
Queers
Disabled
Women voters like me.

That last one got a bit heated. Well. No rhyme this time.

I got to experience the wonder of being off several of my psych meds when I heard Trump said, “Bloodbath” Saw the headline screenshot on Formerly Twitter. Sat with that for several days. During which I had a full on panic attack. On  tele health with my therapist.

I had wanted to get some off medication withdrawals on camera for documentary purposes. It happened, though has more potential in a mental health professionals hands. Was profoundly undignified and unpleasant. I was relieved I no longer had to drive home afterwards, but could just stumble down the hall into bed.

As I am going through menopause while being Schizoaffective, I now take even more medication and am even less pleasant. I don’t know how straight married people do this. Even with hormone replacement therapy. Of course I am taking it.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Lady Gaga, Todrick Hall, RuPaul, Amanda Lepore, Adore Delano, Alaska, and other Drag Queen Disco.

I’ve been eating croissants, tamales, quiche, espresso and Naked Juice.

I’ve been playing Sims Citybuilder, Sims FreePlay, Covet and June’s Journey.

I have covered my home in Nonni’s doilies and candelabras. TEMU rugs and throw pillows.

I am learning Latin with Duolingo.

Obsessed with the Strawberry Thief tapestry.I

am wearing sweater dresses and leggings. As spring comes, lightening up in these wonderful witch wear dresses from Midnight Hour. Yesterday, I experienced a wardrobe malfunction while making a reel. If you haven’t had a wardrobe malfunction while on camera, are you even living?

I’m living, though in profound fear of the outside world.

Until next time. 

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