5. AL’s poem to CW

May 6, 2018


“Mental illness is the fashionable explanation for sin,”

— Sister Jude, American Horror Story: Asylum.


My mental illnesses reside

In this cranium cozy.


I wonder:

Could I exorcize

The Schizoaffective

PTSD and anxiety

Right out of my mind,

As if it was all a nest of demons?


A full pink moon approaches

Perfect for witchcraft

Or self-exorcisms.


I have the exorcism text


In Latin


And bookmarked,

Ready to deploy.


I have the supplies

On my altar.

A silver crucifix from

My grandfather’s Catholic funeral.

Blessed thus.

But no holy water.


Where the fuck

Does a witch

With no Catholic baptism

Get holy water?



I check Amazon.

You can order

Holy water

On Amazon!

Praise be!

Yet I hold off,

That itchy one touch order.


For should I exorcize

My demons

When I don’t believe

In demons?

When I don’t believe

In sin?

When I am not Catholic

Or male

Or a priest?

Thus stunningly unqualified

As I am for all jobs?


This is clearly a question

For the Internet hive mind.

I post a Twitter poll

“Should I do a self-exorcism at the full moon”

Results are:

66% Yes, it’d be fun

17% No, it’ll kill you

17% No, awful things maybe.


My twitter followers are sadists.

I decide better not to.

Carve “Croatoan”

On a tree stump

In the backyard.

And leave it

At that.